I don't need no man

We are created beings. To me, this means we are not capable or designed to be completely independent creatures. This goes against almost everything I tried to be growing up. 

We are surrounded by cultures and societies that are pro and pushing for strong, independent people - especially women. We've all seen it, experienced it and know pretty well what I'm alluding to here so I won't go into more details. I'll just leave it simply put that the world is pushing each and every one of us to become the opposite of what we should be. Don't worry, I'm not about to sit here and tell you that to become the person God called you to be you'll have to get married. Because I'm not about that life, as a content single woman I'm probably more likely to encourage you not to get married... But, that's not the point of this blog/ramble.

I've just been thinking about issues I've noticed within myself, as well as in Christian circles, regarding how women are now expected and encouraged to be fiercely independent in this day and age. I'm not saying I've got all the answers, I'm just here to throw out some ideas and maybe confront some sins that over the years we've allowed to become dormant in all of our lives. Let's just say I'm here for some friendly confrontation. I don't want to fight you, just opening myself for some honest discussions y'know?

Again - we are created beings. Created to be in communion with our Creator. We are not called to be dependant of our Creator, although the fall has made it seem almost natural for us to be all on our own.

But, as a naturally independent person, it worries me how far Christians take both sides of this issue. Many idolise marriage - the lie that snares us being that we won't reach our full potential as Christians if we aren't married. For women especially this is too often what we are taught in the church, it is the way to becoming a true Godly woman. But I fear in many cases we've taken the gift of marriage too far. It has become an idol for so many, which makes it wrong and the opposite of what God really has called us for. When marriage becomes an idol and we long for that relationship more than we long to be standing face to face with our God and Saviour in His glorious Kingdom - then we have gone too far.

The other way Christian women tend to swing is that they are women, they don't need no man. (This is meeeeeee..) While this in and of itself is not wrong, it is the attitude and motivation behind it that can become dangerous. Why? Because we are created beings. We are and always will be in need of Christ as our Savious, God as our Sustainer and the Holy Spirit as our Comforter and Helper. When we begin to identify as modern women of this world, we get caught up. Caught in the anti-Christ-like thoughts that we are sufficient on our own. We begin to idolise being single and content with ourselves, just as the others idolise marriage and having husbands to depend on. The danger of being this type of woman is that we lose sight of how we are still dependable creatures. We DO need people in our lives and more importantly, we need our Creator - without whom we are nothing.

By no means am I saying that I have found the perfect balance. I swing to both extremes regularly. I want to get married some days because I think it'll make life easier - someone can make the hard life decisions for me. When I think like this, it isn't a Godly marriage I want. It is an idol, an ideal that would preferably make my own life easier and less sanctifying. Realistically, marriage would be harder than being single - you have to live with a dirty boy. But while I know I can idolise the idea of marriage, I also often catch myself idolising and wasting my singleness. I'm awfully proud of being single, so content and blissfully enjoying being an Aunty. This is an idol because I can easily ensnare myself on the idea that I am so happy and content being single all because of myself, it can become this amazing accomplishment that I did on my own. I forget that my contentment comes from Christ and where I am in life is nothing that I can boast about. 

So I think I've gotten slightly carried away. But anyway, we have been created and called to be dependant creatures. We are to fully depend and rest in Christ. We are fulfilled when we are found to be contently waiting upon the Lord. We are to be apart from the world. Currently, the world is telling us how we can be wonderful feminists by being on our own and depending only upon ourselves. 

As Christians, male or female, we are never told to only depend on ourselves. We are first to depend on Christ and we are told to commune with likeminded believers. To be apart of a community that has people with different gifts and skills. We are to live in harmony with one another - not looking for our own gain but to be focused on loving one another and not working towards our complete independence. 

Our example is Christ and He was not independent. Over and over we see Him depending on the Father and fellowshipping with His disciples. We are to be like Christ in everything we do. (12 friend maximum, please and thank you.)

I guess at the end of the day I'm just trying to ask you to examine how much culture and worldly influence you're allowing into your life as a Christian. I know I am guilty of this, so I'll challenge those around me to ponder similar thoughts. We never get it all right, but it is helpful being confronted and reminded to examine ourselves before God. Something I wish more Christians were willing to do is be more confronting - with love and gentleness - but confronting nonetheless. Confrontation can be edifying and humbling.

That's it from me for today folks, see you in 3 months when I have more nothingness to ramble about.

Lecy x