Hi, I'm 22 and all I do is procrastinate and nap..?

I am in a pickle (literally, I am inside a huge pickle). I have a craving inside me to do something beautiful and creative, I want to write. I want to paint, and sew and make joyful things. The pickle is, I’m not exceptionally good at any of these things. I could be if I had any patience. But I don’t, I want to make wonderful things immediately. As you can obviously tell by now, I’m impatient. (What a surprise, never saw that coming.) It’s a problem I’ve had since I was a small child, but let’s be honest I’m not alone with this struggle. I’m not going to lie, I wish this was already written. It would be so nice if I could write fun things but they were just done instantly and I didn’t have to physically type this myself. I mean I could tell Google to write it for me, but then I’d have to turn my music off and half the words I said would be misunderstood because I am Kiwi and I like to mumble. Anyway, I’ve gotten distracted and have no idea where I was going with that anymore. So hold your horses while I figure out what will ramble out of me next. 

(I'm still waiting, rambling is harder now that I'm getting old.)

((OH! Speaking of old, a friend found my first grey hair the other day. Uh oh.))

I like naps. This is a big part as to why creative things never come out of me. If I can choose between getting into my snuggly bed, or trying to tune my neglected violin and practice my scales all over again like I’m 12. I will A L W A Y S have a nap instead. I just love sleeping. Now as I’m writing this, I’m questioning whether or not this is more productive than being asleep. The only thing that will come out of this pointless nonsense, is there will hopefully be fewer words in my brain later. I highly doubt that, but it was worth a try anyway, right? 

Want to hear a story about how I want to write a story? Well, you can’t because there is no story.     

Now, at this point in time, I'm wondering if I'll ever stop procrastinating? Also, am I really procrastinating when I don't necessarily have anything else I'm supposed to be doing? I know I should fold and put away my washing, and I also want to go to the gym. But is it procrastinating when the things I am avoiding are not crucial to my survival? I know I would ultimately become a better person if I did fold my washing, and I would be healthier if I went to the gym more consistently. But this doesn't count as procrastinating anymore, does it? I have nothing pressing or urgent that I need to deal with immediately. I am a small adult, I get to choose what things I will spend my time doing. Oh dear! This just got much less appealing. I could just be napping, but instead, I thought this would be fun? What an odd realization to have in the midst of writing a whole lot of pointless nothingness. What a day to be reading the thoughts that go on inside this weird functioning brain of mine.  

Sometimes I do wonder how many people ever actually read the entirety of my blog posts because I only ever write them for my enjoyment, so I feel they are probably very dull for people reading. That's another flaw of mine, I tend to do most things for myself. I write blogs because I enjoy it. I nap because I like to sleep (but if I didn't nap imagine how grumpy I would be, so I guess I do that for others..) I'm selfish. I live in a world where we all just live life for ourselves. I like to think I'm conscious of this though because imagine how much happier the world would be if we all cared about others and didn't just live selfishly for ourselves? I'm not saying I'm any good at this though, I'm definitely still selfish. I just think our society has gotten too caught up in "self-love," I think to a degree we do need to love ourselves, but sometimes it's taken too far and we could be happier humans if we were just kind to everyone around us, including ourselves.I'm just going to leave with this quote from C. S. Lewis,
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.”

That's all for now, kiddos.
Until next time,
Elysia, the small adult who wishes she had a longer nap today.